Relearning to See: A Journey Back to Wholeness

From the moment we’re born, we begin to learn how to perceive the world—not through conscious choice, but through the silent, ever-present influence of those around us. Before we speak a word, we absorb the tones of voices. Before we walk, we learn the emotional terrain of a room. Our perception of life—of safety, love, belonging, success, and even self-worth—begins not with us, but through the lens handed to us by others.

Parents, teachers, society, culture—each plays a role. Not maliciously, but unknowingly. Most of the people who shaped our early view of the world were simply repeating patterns they, too, were given. They offered us the tools they had, even if those tools were chipped, rusty, or no longer served their purpose.

We learned to be cautious with our joy, to shrink when we took up too much space, to fear failure, to chase approval, to measure worth in productivity, and to equate love with condition. These weren’t lessons spoken aloud; they were absorbed in glances, in silence, in what was praised or ignored. And so, like little mirrors, we reflected back the world we thought was true.

But here’s the quiet revolution: we can relearn.

We can question the lenses. We can step back and ask, What if the world isn’t what I was taught to see? What if there’s more kindness, more mystery, more freedom, more permission than I believed? What if I no longer need to protect myself from everything—because I’m no longer a child with no choice?

Relearning doesn’t mean blaming those who taught us. It means forgiving them—for what they didn’t know, for what they carried, for what they didn’t have the power or consciousness to see. It means holding space for the truth that most of our caregivers were doing their best within the limitations of their own stories.

Grace, then, becomes the soil of transformation. We don’t need to rip out old roots with anger or shame. We can gently loosen them with understanding. We can begin again—not from scratch, but from awareness. We can teach ourselves to see with new eyes.

To look in the mirror and see beauty, not deficiency.
To sit in stillness and hear guidance, not just noise.
To feel an emotion and not fear it, but welcome it like an old friend.
To forgive ourselves for all the years we didn’t know better.
To forgive others for all the years they didn’t either.

Relearning how to perceive the world is an act of deep courage. But it is also an act of deep love. Love for the child we were. Love for the adult we are becoming. And love for all the humans who are still waking up, one gentle shift at a time.

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are simply returning—to a way of seeing that was always yours, buried beneath the noise.

Let this be your reminder: You are allowed to begin again.

Gratitude: Questions To Reflect On

  1. What was one moment today that you felt grateful for, and why?
  2. Name a person who helped you this week. What did they do and how did it make you feel?
  3. What is something small that you often overlook, but truly appreciate when you think about it?
  4. When was the last time you felt thankful for something unexpected? Describe what happened.
  5. What is one way you can show gratitude towards someone this week?
  6. Think about a difficult situation. Can you find something in it that you are grateful for?
  7. What is an ability or skill you have that you are thankful for? How did it help you recently?
  8. Reflect on your surroundings. What is something in your environment you are grateful for today?
  9. Who is someone that you haven’t thanked recently but deserves your gratitude? Why?
  10. What is something you’re looking forward to, and why are you grateful for it?

These questions can prompt players to reflect on various aspects of gratitude in their lives, from interpersonal relationships to self-awareness and appreciation of the mundane.

Developing The Witness To The ‘I’ness Of You

Tools and Practices for Developing a Witness to Oneself

1. Mindfulness Meditation

  • Practice being fully present and aware of your activities and surroundings without overreacting. Start with a few minutes of focusing on your breath or bodily sensations and gradually increase your meditation time.

2. Journaling

  • Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly to observe your internal state without judgment. This helps in noticing patterns or triggers in your behavior.

3. Mindful Observation Exercises

  • Choose a routine activity and practice focusing completely on the task. For example, pay attention to the sensations of washing dishes, like the texture and temperature of the water, and the sounds around you.

4. Retreats and Silent Meditation

  • Participate in retreats or engage in silent meditation periods to deepen your capacity to observe your mental and emotional processes in an environment that minimizes external distractions.

5. Yoga and Breathwork

  • Engage in yoga and controlled breathing exercises to calm the mind and facilitate the observation of your thoughts without attachment, harmonizing the body and mind.

6. Daily Reflection

  • Spend a few minutes at the end of each day reflecting on your experiences and behaviors to develop a habit of observing your life’s narrative from a distance and recognizing patterns.

7. Reading and Listening to Spiritual Teachings

  • Regularly engage with the wisdom of spiritual teachers through books, lectures, or podcasts to gain insights and reinforce the importance of developing a witnessing consciousness.

8. Mindful Listening and Speaking

  • Practice listening to others without preparing your response while they speak, which cultivates presence and awareness of habitual mental responses. Also, practice mindful speaking by pausing before speaking, reflecting on the intention behind your words, and noticing your emotions.

Implementing these practices can help you develop the ability to witness yourself, leading to a more conscious and centered way of living.