People – Stillness Awaits

2025-07-01

Softness is My Strength Now: A New Way to Shine

For a long time, I believed that being strong meant being untouchable. I thought I had to hide my softness, my sensitivity, and my struggles in order to be respected—perhaps even to survive. Vulnerability, I was taught, was a liability. And so I armored up.

But over time, I began to feel the weight of that armor. It didn’t protect my peace—it held it hostage. The walls I built to seem strong also kept love, presence, and connection out. And maybe, like me, you’ve realized that in trying to be invulnerable, we become invisible… even to ourselves.

So today, I’m choosing something radical.

I’m choosing to be soft.

For the world.

For the people around me.

For myself.

Because softness is not weakness. It is the quiet courage to stay open. It’s the power to feel deeply and still stand tall. It’s choosing peace over performance and truth over image.

Why Softness Matters

Softness brings peace. Hiding parts of ourselves creates tension. Softness is the great exhale. It’s the moment you allow your shoulders to drop and say, “This is who I am.” Softness deepens connection. When we let others see our hearts, we create space for real intimacy. Our vulnerability invites others to be real too. Softness is human. We weren’t made to be machines. We were made to feel. Our tenderness is part of what makes us whole.

Practicing Softness: Where to Start

This isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about remembering who you were before the world told you to hide. Here are a few ways to begin:

Name what you feel. Pause in the middle of your day and say to yourself, “Right now, I feel…” There’s no right or wrong answer—just notice. Speak one small truth. It could be “I’m overwhelmed” or “I really needed that hug.” Let someone see a piece of your inner world. Protect your softness. Being soft doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. Boundaries are what keep your tenderness safe. Saying “no” when you need to is an act of self-honor.

Softness is a quiet revolution. And it begins inside. Not everyone will understand your softness at first—some may see it as strange or even inconvenient. But stay with it. This is your truth unfolding. This is how peace returns.

Because when you stop hiding, you begin shining.

2025-06-30

The Price We Pay to Keep the Peace

We’ve all done it.

Held our tongue. Softened our truth. Smiled when we wanted to cry.
Not because we were weak, but because we were trying to keep the peace.

In families, friendships, workplaces, and even romantic partnerships — there’s often an unspoken rule that peace is more important than truth. But what happens when keeping the peace comes at the cost of losing ourselves?

We pay the price quietly.
And it adds up over time.

The Cost of Silencing Ourselves

We abandon parts of our true nature.
That wild spark, that deep knowing, the part of us that wants to roar with aliveness—gets tucked away.
We create an inner split.
There’s the “us” we show the world, and the “us” that watches from the shadows, wondering when it will be safe to come out.
We feel unseen, even in love.
Because how can others truly see us if we’re hiding behind politeness and performance?
We become tired in ways rest can’t fix.
Because suppression is exhausting. It takes energy to pretend, to hold it all in.

Why We Do It

We keep the peace because it feels safer.
We’ve learned that honesty might lead to rejection. That truth might provoke conflict.
And for many, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, rejection or disapproval can feel like death to the nervous system.

So we trade authenticity for approval.
We shrink so others don’t feel uncomfortable.

But There’s Another Kind of Peace

There is a peace that doesn’t ask us to shrink.
It doesn’t demand our silence.
It welcomes our wholeness—the wild and the tender, the clear and the confused.

That peace starts from within.

It’s the kind of peace that emerges when we’re fully aligned with who we are. When we say, with compassion but without apology:

“This is who I am. This is what I feel. And I can’t keep abandoning myself for the sake of harmony.”

Because if peace costs you your truth—it’s not peace.
It’s quiet resentment.
It’s spiritual suffocation.

2025-06-20

Without the Need to Fall

I wasn’t searching.
Not for love,
not for saving,
not for someone to make sense of the noise.

I had made peace with the quiet.
The kind that doesn’t ache anymore—
just hums low in the bones,
like the sound of wind through old trees.

I needed nothing.
No fixing.
No thrill.
No fireworks to wake me up.
I was already awake.
Already whole.

And then…
there you were.

No entrance music.
No grand design.
You didn’t fill a void—
you revealed a room I didn’t know was there.

You didn’t complete me.
You just made me softer.
Wider.
Still.

You didn’t rush in.
You appeared.
Like the last line of a poem
that had been writing itself
since before I was born.

I didn’t fall in love with you—
because there was nothing to fall into.
You were already there.
In the air.
In the stillness between my thoughts.
In the calm I had built around myself.

And yet somehow—
you fit.
Not as a missing piece,
but as a secret layer
beneath everything I thought I understood.

So no,
I never fell in love with you.
I met you
when I was already standing.
Already whole.
Already free.

And that’s what made it real.
You were not what I needed.
You were what I never knew
was possible
once I needed nothing.

2025-06-18

Stacks of Resentment

Resentment does not thunder in—
It tiptoes in on quiet sighs,
A single word left unexplained,
A glance that looked away, not wise.

It starts as something barely there,
A flicker lost behind the eyes—
A moment when we needed care
But silence answered hurt with lies.

It stacks, not loud, but layer-thin:
A favor missed, a thought unheard,
A burden carried once again
Without the grace of kindest word.

Each layer pressed, not smoothed or seen,
Becomes a brick without release.
The wall builds up, emotion-dense,
And blocks the path to inner peace.

Resentment is not rage, not fire—
It’s cooler than the surface shows.
It is the weight of unmet needs,
The ache of what one never knows.

But pause—breathe in, and speak it out.
Unstack the pain with gentle hands.
Let anger name its softer core,
And truth arise where silence stands.

For when we seek to understand
The roots that tangled in the past,
We find resentment starts to melt—
And love, at last, can hold us fast.

2025-05-22

When Cancer Isn’t the Enemy, but a Messenger

As we get closer to death, I’ve come to see something differently: maybe cancer isn’t a mistake, a curse, or something to be feared — maybe it’s a signal. A signal that the body, in its deep intelligence, is preparing to break down, to return to the cycle of nature from which it came.

But this brings up a deeper question:
Why are we, as humans, so determined to prevent such things?

The War Against Death

In modern culture, especially in the West, death is often seen as a failure — the thing we must postpone at all costs. We don’t talk about it openly. We hide it in hospitals, behind sterilized curtains and silent grief. We’ve pathologized the natural process of dying, calling it something to be cured, rather than a sacred transition to be honored.

Our Dual Instincts

There’s a paradox at play. On one hand, we resist death because we’re afraid of it. On the other, we fight to live because we love life so deeply. And maybe both are valid.

We intervene medically not just out of fear, but out of love — love for one more day, one more smile, one more breath with those we cherish. Medicine, in many ways, is a form of devotion.

Beyond the Diagnosis

Not all cancer is terminal. Sometimes, treating it gives us more time — not just time on a clock, but time that’s rich with meaning. Moments that matter. Healing isn’t always about preventing death. Sometimes, it’s about how we live while we’re still here.

Reframing the Narrative

But perhaps the greatest healing lies not in defeating death, but in making peace with it. What if cancer is not a curse, but a whisper? What if it’s the body’s way of saying, “It’s time to begin letting go”?

This doesn’t mean we stop caring or give up on people we love. It means we start honoring the process — not as an enemy to conquer, but as a passage to walk through with reverence.

If we listened more closely, maybe we’d stop fearing death — and start understanding it.

2025-03-09

The Resilience Loop: How Societal Patterns Inform Software Development Strategies

To compare the cyclical concept of “good times create weak people, weak people create bad times, bad times create strong people, strong people create good times” with the software development life cycle (SDLC), we can draw parallels between the phases of societal development and the stages of software development. Here’s how these concepts can be aligned:

Cyclical Concept vs. SDLC

1. Good Times (Prosperity) vs. Maintenance Phase

Good Times: In prosperous times, societies may become complacent, similar to how software in the maintenance phase can become outdated if not regularly updated. Both require vigilance to avoid stagnation.
Maintenance Phase: This phase involves continuous updates and fixes to ensure the software remains relevant and functional. Similarly, societies must adapt and innovate during prosperous times to maintain their strength.

2. Weak People (Complacency) vs. Planning Phase

Weak People: Complacency can lead to a lack of innovation and resilience. In software development, poor planning can result in a flawed project foundation.
Planning Phase: This phase sets the project’s direction and scope. Just as societies need strong leadership and vision during challenging times, software projects require clear objectives and resource allocation to succeed.

3. Bad Times (Challenges) vs. Testing Phase

Bad Times: Societies face challenges that test their resilience. Similarly, the testing phase in SDLC identifies and fixes defects, strengthening the software.
Testing Phase: This phase is critical for ensuring software quality by revealing and addressing issues before deployment. It mirrors how societies must adapt and innovate during hardships to emerge stronger.

4. Strong People (Resilience) vs. Implementation Phase

Strong People: Resilient individuals drive societal recovery and growth. In software development, the implementation phase transforms designs into functional applications, requiring skilled and motivated developers.
Implementation Phase: This phase involves coding and building the software based on design specifications. It requires strong technical skills and attention to detail, much like how strong individuals contribute to societal progress.

Key Takeaways

Adaptability and Innovation: Both societal cycles and SDLC phases emphasize the importance of continuous improvement and adaptation to changing conditions.
Resilience: Building resilience in software systems mirrors the development of strong individuals in society, both of which are crucial for overcoming challenges and achieving success.
Cycles of Improvement: Both concepts involve cycles where challenges lead to growth, and prosperity requires ongoing effort to maintain strength and relevance.

By integrating resilience and adaptability into both societal development and software development, we can foster systems and communities that are better equipped to handle challenges and thrive over time.

⁂

2025-02-12

Loyalty: What Is It All About?

Sometimes, people see loyalty as exclusive allegiance, while you see it as something that doesn’t have to create division or separateness. This is a deep spiritual conversation because it touches on attachment, ego, and unconditional love.

Loyalty Through a Spiritual Lens

From a higher perspective, true loyalty is not about exclusion, but about integrity. It’s about being true to your values while honoring the freedom and individuality of others.

Loyalty Rooted in Fear vs. Love
- Fear-based loyalty says: If you associate with people I dislike, you are betraying me.
- Love-based loyalty says: I trust your heart and respect your choices, even if they differ from mine.
The first is possessive and conditional, while the second allows freedom and connection.
The Illusion of Separation
- Your friend may see relationships in a “us vs. them” way, where being loyal means choosing sides.
- You recognize that all beings are interconnected—we don’t have to create separation to be true to those we love.
From a spiritual view, oneness is the highest truth, while division is an illusion created by the ego.
Boundaries vs. Control
- It’s okay for your friend to have personal boundaries—they may not want to associate with certain people for their own reasons.
- But expecting you to mirror their boundaries crosses into control rather than mutual respect.
True loyalty doesn’t require control—it thrives in trust.

How to Navigate This as a Healer

Affirm Your Integrity: “I value our friendship deeply, and my connection with others doesn’t take away from that.”
Help Them See the Bigger Picture: “I don’t see friendships as choosing sides. If I build bridges, it doesn’t mean I’m tearing ours down.”
Respect Their Feelings, But Hold Your Truth: “I understand this is important to you, and I honor that. At the same time, I hope you trust my heart in this.”

This can be an opportunity for healing and expansion—if they are open to it. If not, that’s also their journey to walk.

2024-12-17

The Power Within A Name

There is a deep cultural and spiritual connection between names and their meanings across various traditions. Western names often carry specific roots in history, religion, and linguistic evolution, while names inspired by nature are frequently associated with primal energy, life cycles, and the natural world. Here’s a closer exploration of this idea:

Western Names and Meaning

Western names often derive from ancient languages such as Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and Germanic origins.

Symbolism: Many Western names convey religious or historical meaning. For example:
- Elizabeth (Hebrew): “God is my oath”
- Alexander (Greek): “Defender of the people”
Legacy: These names tend to preserve family, cultural, or religious ties and carry generational significance.
Structure: Western names often focus on personality traits, virtues (Grace, Victor), or accomplishments rather than direct connections to nature.

However, nature-influenced names do exist in the Western tradition—like Rose, Lily, River, and Forest—but they are often viewed as poetic or alternative choices.

Nature-Based Names and Their Power

Names derived from nature have a unique energy because they directly connect a person to the natural world. This can resonate with themes of renewal, growth, and interconnectedness.

Universality: Nature names transcend cultures, linking people across the globe. For instance:
- River, Sky, Stone (Western)
- Aranya (Sanskrit, meaning “forest”)
- Alya (Arabic, meaning “sky”)
Symbolic Energy: Names from nature embody the characteristics of what they represent. For example:
- River: Flow, adaptability, constant movement.
- Mountain: Strength, immovability, groundedness.
- Willow: Flexibility, grace, resilience.

People who carry nature-inspired names might subconsciously or consciously feel aligned with the attributes of their namesake.

Spiritual Connection in Naming

From a spiritual perspective, names are believed to hold a vibration or energy that can influence a person’s path.

Western Tradition: Names often tie to saints, biblical characters, or moral ideals, representing a connection to faith or virtue.
Nature Names: Names connected to the earth, sky, or animals foster a sense of harmony with creation and emphasize humanity’s role as stewards of nature.

In indigenous and Eastern traditions, names tied to nature often reflect a person’s spirit or destiny. For example:

Native American traditions often include names like Running Wolf or Morning Star, reflecting a deeper connection to the natural and spiritual world.
In Japanese culture, names like Hana (flower) and Sora (sky) are common and hold poetic significance.

Modern Trends

In contemporary society, there’s a growing desire to return to nature-based names as people seek deeper meaning, simplicity, and authenticity. Nature names often symbolize freedom from rigid systems, evoking peace, strength, and interconnectedness.

Western names (Charles, Emily) feel rooted in history and societal roles.
Nature names (Ocean, Sage) feel timeless, universal, and unbound by human constructs.

Conclusion

The power within a name—whether Western or nature-inspired—shapes identity and connects people to their lineage or the world around them. Nature names, however, seem to transcend cultural boundaries, offering a universal connection to something primal and eternal: the earth, sky, and life itself.

Both name types hold power, but names inspired by nature often call people to reconnect with the natural flow of life, something increasingly significant in a world seeking balance and meaning.

2024-12-13

Selfishness…Is It All Bad?

The selfish nature of human beings is a fascinating and complex topic. It touches on biology, psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. Here’s a structured exploration:

Where Does Selfishness Come From?

Biological Roots:
- Survival Instinct: Selfishness is deeply rooted in our evolutionary biology. The instinct to survive often prioritizes self-preservation over the well-being of others. Early humans had to compete for limited resources like food, shelter, and mates.
- Genetic Imperative: The desire to protect and propagate one’s genetic lineage can also lead to behaviors that prioritize family and close relations, sometimes at the expense of others.
Psychological Development:
- Childhood Egocentrism: In early childhood, humans are naturally egocentric, as their understanding of the world revolves around their own needs and desires. As they grow, empathy and social awareness develop, though selfish tendencies may persist.
- Scarcity Mentality: A sense of lack or insecurity, whether real or perceived, can heighten selfish behavior as individuals seek to protect what they have or acquire more.
Social and Cultural Influences:
- Capitalism and Competition: Modern societal systems often reward individual success and competition, sometimes at the expense of collaboration and altruism.
- Cultural Norms: Some cultures emphasize individual achievement over communal well-being, fostering self-centered behaviors.
Spiritual Perspective:
- Ego and Separation: Many spiritual traditions describe selfishness as a product of the ego, which sees itself as separate from others and the universe. This illusion of separation creates a sense of “me vs. them,” leading to self-centered actions.

Is Selfishness All Bad?

Not necessarily. Selfishness can be categorized into constructive and destructive forms:

Constructive Selfishness:
- Self-Care: Prioritizing one’s health, boundaries, and well-being is essential for sustained contribution to others.
- Motivation: Ambition and the desire to achieve personal goals can drive progress and innovation.
- Personal Growth: Sometimes, focusing on oneself is necessary for healing, learning, or creating something valuable.
Destructive Selfishness:
- Exploitation: Taking advantage of others for personal gain harms relationships and communities.
- Greed: Hoarding resources or power without regard for others perpetuates inequality and suffering.
- Short-Sightedness: Ignoring the long-term consequences of selfish actions can lead to environmental degradation, social unrest, or personal isolation.

Tiers of Selfishness

Basic Survival Selfishness:
- Acts of self-preservation, like taking the last bit of food when resources are scarce, are primal and instinctive.
Social Selfishness:
- Competing for status, recognition, or influence in a group setting. This often manifests as subtle manipulation, boasting, or withholding help.
Psychological Selfishness:
- Prioritizing one’s emotional comfort or narrative, often ignoring the needs or perspectives of others.
Spiritual Selfishness:
- Using spirituality or altruistic acts to elevate one’s ego or social standing rather than genuinely helping others.

How Do We Curb Selfishness?

Cultivating Empathy:
- Actively practice putting yourself in others’ shoes. This can expand your sense of connection and reduce self-centered behavior.
Mindfulness and Awareness:
- Recognize when selfish thoughts or actions arise. Awareness is the first step to transformation.
Practice Gratitude:
- Focusing on what you have rather than what you lack can shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance.
Engage in Service:
- Helping others selflessly is a powerful way to counteract selfish tendencies. It fosters connection, joy, and a sense of purpose.
Spiritual Practices:
- Explore philosophies or practices (like meditation, yoga, or prayer) that emphasize the interconnectedness of all beings.
Education and Reflection:
- Read, learn, and discuss the impacts of selfishness on relationships and society. Reflect on how your actions align with your values.

Final Thoughts

Selfishness, in its essence, is neither wholly good nor bad. It is a natural aspect of human behavior that can be harnessed for self-improvement and societal benefit or curbed to prevent harm. By understanding its roots and manifestations, we can strive for a balanced life where personal growth and collective well-being coexist harmoniously.

2024-12-13

How To Deal With Pain

There seems to be a million ways to alleviate pain in this day and age. There are medical practices that thrive on helping with pain management. But there are some things we can do on our own that can help as well. These principles described below can be framed as universal practices that can align with any religion or spiritual path, emphasizing mindfulness, acceptance, and self-compassion as tools for managing pain. Here’s how:

1. Mindful Awareness

Across spiritual traditions, awareness is a key practice. Observing pain without judgment or resistance allows you to see it as part of your experience without defining your entire reality.
This awareness can help reduce the emotional charge of pain, enabling you to remain present and grounded.

2. Meditation or Prayer

Meditation, reflective prayer, or quiet contemplation can help calm the mind and shift focus away from pain.
- Breath-focused practices involve centering attention on the natural rhythm of your breath, providing relief from the dominance of pain.
- Prayers of gratitude or surrender encourage trust in a higher power, bringing comfort and a sense of connection.

3. Acceptance and Letting Go

Many spiritual teachings emphasize surrender and acceptance. By embracing what is—rather than resisting pain—you create space for peace to coexist with discomfort.
Letting go of the need to control or fight pain can alleviate the secondary suffering caused by resistance.

4. Impermanence or Transformation

Whether seen as God’s plan, life’s cycles, or the nature of existence, most spiritual paths acknowledge that pain, like all things, is temporary.
This perspective fosters patience, hope, and resilience, reminding you that discomfort is not permanent.

5. Transforming Suffering

Pain can be reframed as an opportunity for growth, empathy, or spiritual transformation. Many traditions teach that challenges, including pain, refine the soul or deepen faith.
By focusing on the lessons pain may offer, you can transform your perspective from one of suffering to one of learning and healing.

6. Compassion and Self-Care

Self-compassion is a universal value. Treating yourself kindly, much as you would a loved one experiencing pain, reduces distress and fosters healing.
Reaching out for support through community, whether spiritual or social, reinforces the idea that you are not alone.

7. Reducing Stress through Rituals

Rituals—such as lighting a candle, reciting affirmations, or engaging in acts of devotion—can help create a sense of peace and reduce stress, which often amplifies pain.

Practical Steps to Apply:

Daily Quiet Time: Dedicate a few minutes to reflective silence, focusing on your breath, a mantra, or a prayer.
Reframe Pain: Consider it as part of a divine plan, a natural process, or a signal to slow down and care for yourself.
Seek Support: Join a spiritual or faith community where you can share experiences and find encouragement.
Practice Gratitude: Even in pain, look for small blessings, reminding yourself of the good that remains in your life.

These practices do not rely on specific doctrines or beliefs but draw on universal spiritual truths, providing tools to navigate pain with grace, resilience, and peace. They are flexible and can be adapted to align with any personal faith or worldview.