I’m not a parent. Okay…I lied, maybe towards our two amazing cats…but to human kids, no…not a parent by any means!
Let me start there, not as a disclaimer, but as a grounding truth. I haven’t stayed up all night with a crying infant, navigated toddler tantrums in grocery store aisles, or had to find the right words to explain a heartbreak to a teenager. But I have been parented. I have spent years observing the quiet heroism of parents around me—neighbors, friends, strangers at the park. And I do care deeply about how we raise the next generation.
This isn’t a list of dos and don’ts. I’m not here to tell anyone how to raise their child. Instead, I want to share what I’ve learned by being the child, by watching what works and what seems to hurt, and by carrying a deep devotion to kindness and compassion for every little soul that enters this world.
The Power of Presence
Some of the most powerful moments in my childhood came from quiet, consistent presence. Not the grand gestures, not the big rewards, but the feeling of being seen. A parent who looked me in the eye when I spoke. Who put the phone down. Who didn’t try to fix everything right away, but simply listened. Children remember presence more than perfection.
Words Are Seeds
The way we speak to children becomes the voice they carry in their heads. I remember praise that felt sincere—not for achievement, but for effort. I also remember the sting of words said in frustration, echoing far longer than intended. What if we planted seeds of encouragement, curiosity, and safety with our words? What if we slowed down, even in discipline, to speak with dignity?
Curiosity Over Control
One parenting style I’ve observed with admiration is when adults stay curious—about their child’s feelings, questions, or behaviors—rather than rushing to control them. When a kid acts out, instead of punishment, what if we asked, “What are you feeling?” or “What do you need right now?” That kind of approach doesn’t just raise obedient children—it raises emotionally intelligent ones.
Repair Is More Powerful Than Perfection
We all make mistakes. What matters is whether we repair them. I’ve seen parents apologize to their kids. I’ve seen them get down to eye level, say “I was wrong,” and model humility and growth. As a child, that felt revolutionary. It said: You matter. We can grow together.
Community as a Mirror
I’ve learned just as much by watching how other parents treat their kids in everyday moments—how a father gently adjusts his son’s helmet before going out to bat on the baseball field, how a mother beams while her daughter tells a story through her movement on the dance floor. These glimpses remind me that parenting isn’t about getting it all right—it’s about showing up, again and again, with love.
I may never have the full experience of being a parent, but I do have a heart that watches with reverence. And maybe, that’s worth something.
This reflection doesn’t come from a place of critique, but from love. From the hope that each child gets to feel safe, valued, and loved. From the belief that the way we parent shapes not just individuals, but the soul of our communities.
To every parent out there trying their best—you are seen. And to every child out there—may you always feel worthy, exactly as you are.