stillnessawaits – Stillness Awaits

2025-07-10

The Happiness Trap: Why Finding You is the Real Glow-Up

Let’s be real.
We’ve been sold this idea since forever: “Chase your dreams, be happy, and everything will work out.”
Sounds nice on a Pinterest board. But here’s the tea:

The pursuit of happiness is kinda sus.

Before you cancel this blog, hear me out.

The Problem with Chasing Happiness

We’re out here thinking happiness is the ultimate goal—like it’s some golden trophy waiting at the end of a rainbow.

But let’s be honest:
You finally get the new phone, the relationship, the followers, the car, the job—and then what?
You’re lit for 3.5 seconds… then back to overthinking at 2 a.m. in your room.

That’s because happiness, as we’ve been taught, is lowkey a trap.
It’s always based on something outside of you—something that can change, fade, ghost you, or break.

So What’s the Real Quest?

Let’s switch it up.

Instead of asking:
“What will make me happy?”

Ask:
“Who even am I beneath all this noise?”

That’s the real quest, the main storyline, the ultimate side quest that turns into the main mission:
Discovering your true self.

Because when you know yourself—like really know yourself—you stop needing every little thing to go your way in order to feel peace.
You stop chasing validation like it’s a limited drop.
You move different. You glow different. You are different.

Real Happiness Is a Byproduct

We’re not saying happiness is fake. But chasing it directly is like trying to catch sunlight with your bare hands.
When you align with your inner truth, your values, your purpose—happiness shows up uninvited. It just walks in like, “Yo, I live here now.”

True happiness = inner peace + knowing who you actually are.
Not just good vibes only
but real alignment.

TL;DR

Chasing happiness without knowing yourself is like downloading an app with no phone.
External stuff is cute, but internal peace is the real flex.
The real pursuit isn’t happiness—it’s you.
Find yourself, and happiness might just slide into your DMs.

Final Vibe Check

“The pursuit of happiness without the pursuit of your true self is the real fallacy.”
– a wise homie (aka you, maybe)

2025-07-09

The Absurdity of “Earning a Living”

From the moment we’re born, a subtle program begins to install itself into our consciousness. It’s not malicious, but it is insidious — a quiet mantra whispered into our upbringing, our schooling, our societal roles: You must earn a living. Say it aloud, and you might not even flinch. It’s so normal, so accepted, so woven into the tapestry of our modern existence that we rarely stop to ask, Wait… earn what?

Let’s pause. Take those three words apart: earning a living.

Isn’t it strange — absurd even — that we must earn the right to live? That our mere existence isn’t enough, but must be justified by effort, output, productivity, and performance? That we must do something in order to be granted what is already ours by nature?

A bird does not earn the right to sing at sunrise.
A tree does not file taxes to keep growing towards the sky.
A river does not justify its flow.

And yet, humans — the only species with such complex cognition — have created a system where life itself is something we must pay for. Food, shelter, water, healthcare, time — all fundamental components of life — are placed behind invisible gates, locked with wages, degrees, and hours worked. Somehow, we’ve agreed to this arrangement. Worse, we rarely question it.

We call it “normal.”

But imagine explaining this to a child — not one already conditioned by society, but one fresh, curious, untainted. You’d have to say, “Yes, sweetheart, I know you were born with lungs that breathe air and a heart that beats without effort, but in order to keep doing that — to have a place to sleep, food to eat, and moments of joy — you must labor, sacrifice, and prove your worth every step of the way.” It sounds cruel, doesn’t it?

And yet, we wear it as a badge of honor. “I work hard to earn a living.” We bond over burnout, pride ourselves on long hours, sacrifice our health, time, and passions just to stay afloat — all while the world spins, the sun rises for free, and the earth continues to provide more than enough for all of us… if only we didn’t gate it with made-up systems and scarcity mindsets.

This isn’t to say work is bad. Meaningful work, contribution, creativity, and service — these are beautiful, human things. But work to survive? That’s a prison dressed up as purpose. There’s a vast difference between working to express life and working to earn the right to live it.

We’ve mistaken survival for success.
We’ve glorified struggle.
We’ve turned life into a transaction.

The real question is: what if we stopped chasing the concept of earning life and started experiencing it? What if we returned to the truth that our worth is not tied to our output? That our value is not measured in productivity? That to be alive is already the miracle — and we’ve already earned it just by being here.

So the next time someone says, “I’m just trying to earn a living,” maybe pause for a moment and let the absurdity of that statement sink in. Then smile, because you’ve seen the joke that humanity’s been playing on itself for generations.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll stop trying so hard to earn life — and start living it instead.

2025-07-09

The Currency of Energy: Why Are We Draining Ourselves to Create More?

In the grand scheme of things, everything is energy.

Our thoughts are energy.
Our emotions, our actions, even the silent spaces between our breaths—energy.
The sun itself, pouring its light upon us every day without condition, is a form of energy. It gives freely, without asking for anything in return.

And yet, as human beings, we’ve created a paradox.

We spend our days draining our own energy—mentally, emotionally, physically—to try and create more energy in the form of money. And what do we often use that money for? To buy things, experiences, or temporary relief that… once again drains us. It’s like trying to quench thirst with saltwater.

We’ve built a culture that prioritizes productivity over presence.
We glorify busyness.
We sacrifice rest, joy, creativity, and even our health—all in the name of “earning a living.”

But what if the living was never meant to be earned?

Somewhere along the way, we stopped trusting the natural flow of life. We stopped seeing ourselves as part of the same ecosystem that provides freely—sunlight, breath, nourishment, beauty—and instead started believing that our worth must be proven, our time monetized, our value validated.

Money is not the enemy here.
It’s simply a symbol—a placeholder for stored energy, a collective agreement.
But the problem arises when we confuse the symbol with the source. When we think accumulating more money means accumulating more value, more life, more safety… when in reality, we’re often losing energy just to maintain the illusion of having it.

So maybe the real question isn’t: How do I make more energy (money) to feel alive?
Maybe the question is: Why am I giving so much of my life-force to things that don’t feed me?

Real energy doesn’t come from grinding.
It comes from alignment.
When who you are, what you do, and what you value are in harmony.
When you give from overflow, not depletion.
When your energy flows like the sun—freely, naturally, joyfully.

Because we were never meant to burn out just to survive.
We were meant to radiate to thrive.

2025-07-09

The Invisible Cage: How Labels Limit Our Reality

“You are not a label. You are not even a name. You are a living, breathing mystery trying to define the infinite with a few borrowed words.”

We live in a world wrapped in labels — neatly packaged, easily understood, and socially accepted. From the moment we are born, we are given names, identities, genders, roles, diagnoses, beliefs, and affiliations. These labels give us a sense of belonging, structure, and even safety. But as comforting as they seem, they often become the very cages that confine our reality.

The Illusion of Definition

Labels attempt to define something that is in constant motion: you. When we say “I’m an introvert” or “I’m bad at math” or “I’m spiritual but not religious,” we are drawing lines around who we think we are. But identity, like nature, is not a fixed point. It’s a flowing river. The moment you define it, you stop watching it move.

A label is a map, not the territory. It’s a symbol, not the substance. And when we mistake the map for the land, we stop exploring what’s actually out there.

The Cost of Certainty

The more we cling to labels, the more we limit our perception of what is possible — for ourselves and others.

A child labeled as “shy” may never be encouraged to speak up.
A man labeled as “strong” may never feel safe to cry.
A person labeled with a diagnosis may begin to live only within the parameters of that condition.
A spiritual seeker who labels themselves as “enlightened” may no longer allow themselves to grow.

Labels feed our desire for certainty in an uncertain world. But the need for certainty often sacrifices curiosity, and without curiosity, transformation becomes impossible.

Realizing the Trap

The first step to liberation is awareness. Notice how often you use labels in your thoughts and speech. Ask yourself:

Am I using this label to understand something, or to avoid deeper inquiry?
Is this label freeing me or confining me?
Who was I before I believed this about myself?

The more you catch yourself in the act of labeling, the more you realize how reflexive and unconscious it has become. We don’t label reality because it’s true — we label it because it’s easier.

Expanding the Limits of Thought

To move beyond the limits of labels is to become deeply present to what is — without rushing to name it. This is where mindfulness becomes a radical act. When we observe our experiences without categorizing them, something shifts: the world becomes more alive, more mysterious, more fluid.

Here are some ways to begin:

Replace Labels with Observations
Instead of “She’s rude,” say “She interrupted me during a conversation.” Notice how it feels more open, less reactive.
Practice Beginner’s Mind
Approach people, places, even your own emotions as if you’ve never encountered them before. Drop the story. Watch what arises.
Use Language Lightly
Understand that words are just tools. Use them with humility, knowing they can never fully capture the infinite.
Let Yourself Be Unlabeled
You don’t have to be consistent. You can be strong one moment and vulnerable the next. You can love something today and outgrow it tomorrow. That’s not hypocrisy — it’s being alive.
Hold Paradox
True freedom comes when we allow contradictory things to exist within us. You can be both gentle and fierce, grounded and free, logical and mystical. Labels can’t hold paradox, but your soul can.

In the End

Reality does not need to be labeled to be real. It just is. And the more we release ourselves from the grip of definition, the more space we create for possibility. Life doesn’t ask you to be anything — it only asks you to show up, raw and real.

You are not your name.
You are not your roles.
You are not your past.
You are the space where all of that arises.

The question is:
Can you live without a label long enough to find out who you truly are?

2025-07-07

Discipline – What is it all about?

We often associate discipline with external rigidity: strict schedules, rules, punishments, or a system imposed on us by others—whether it’s teachers, society, religion, or even the personal development industry. But that kind of discipline can feel suffocating, especially when it doesn’t take into account the uniqueness of our inner rhythm.

True discipline—soulful discipline—is not the suppression of our nature but the conscious alignment with it.

It’s the ability to know yourself so well that you move with clarity, consistency, and care. It’s honoring your energy cycles, your emotional needs, your creative bursts. It’s choosing devotion over duty, intention over expectation.

When we follow someone else’s discipline without discernment, we risk betraying our own nature. We may be praised for being “disciplined,” but inside, we may feel dull, disconnected, or joyless.

Mastery of the self means knowing when to rest and when to rise.
It means following through not because someone told you to, but because your inner being has chosen it.
It means structure that supports freedom, not restricts it.

In this light, discipline becomes less about obedience and more about sacred commitment—to your joy, your truth, and your becoming.

2025-07-07

The Paradox of Being Human

We often hold others to a standard of unwavering consistency. When someone goes against their word, changes their stance, or contradicts themselves, we’re quick to label them as unreliable, hypocritical, or two-faced. But if we’re honest — brutally honest — we must admit that we, too, contain contradictions.

To be human is to be paradoxical.
We carry within us both the desire to be understood and the tendency to hide.
We long for stability, yet we are constantly evolving.
We value truth, yet we sometimes lie — even if just to ourselves.
We hold morals, yet we falter.
We make vows, and yet we forget, shift, change.

These aren’t moral failings; they are thresholds of awareness.
When we see someone break their word, it hurts — not just because they broke it, but because we, too, know what it means to feel split between two truths.
It is only by recognizing the paradox within ourselves that we can offer grace to others.

Contradiction isn’t always hypocrisy. Sometimes it’s growth.
Sometimes, to realize the value of honesty, you must feel the weight of a lie.
To know loyalty, you must encounter betrayal — whether your own or someone else’s.
We can’t understand the light unless we’ve stood in the dark.

So next time someone shows you their inconsistency, look inward.
Not to excuse, but to remember:
We are all learning to become whole — one paradox at a time.

2025-07-05

What Alan Watts Would Call a Happening

There are certain moments in life that seem to unfold without effort.

Not because you planned for them.

Not because you earned them.

Not even because you were ready.

They just… happen.

Alan Watts called these moments “happenings.”

They are not tasks.

They are not lessons.

They are not punishments or rewards.

A happening isn’t done to you, nor is it for you.

It simply is.

Like a breeze rustling through the leaves.

Like the tide coming in.

Like laughter erupting in the middle of silence.

The happening is life moving through form—without permission, without apology, and without agenda.

But here’s the subtle grace of it:

While a happening doesn’t revolve around you, something remarkable occurs when you begin to resonate with it.

Not resist it.

Not analyze it.

Not control it.

But meet it.

You and the happening begin to merge, not as two separate entities, but as one synchronized expression of presence.

Like a musician becoming indistinguishable from the music.

Like a dancer being danced.

When resonance occurs, the happening is no longer “out there.”

It is not “yours,” yet it is you.

It becomes the unfolding of your being in perfect rhythm with the cosmos.

This is the beauty.

Not that something happened to you.

Not that something happened for you.

But that you were in harmony with the happening itself.

That you were available enough, quiet enough, alive enough to notice:

Life is not something you control. It is something you meet.

And when you meet it with stillness and wonder,

with humility and presence,

the happening becomes a sacred echo of your own nature.

You weren’t chasing the moment.

You were the moment.

Just… happening.

2025-07-04

Parenting Through Observation: Lessons From the Other Side of the Fence

I’m not a parent. Okay…I lied, maybe towards our two amazing cats…but to human kids, no…not a parent by any means!

Let me start there, not as a disclaimer, but as a grounding truth. I haven’t stayed up all night with a crying infant, navigated toddler tantrums in grocery store aisles, or had to find the right words to explain a heartbreak to a teenager. But I have been parented. I have spent years observing the quiet heroism of parents around me—neighbors, friends, strangers at the park. And I do care deeply about how we raise the next generation.

This isn’t a list of dos and don’ts. I’m not here to tell anyone how to raise their child. Instead, I want to share what I’ve learned by being the child, by watching what works and what seems to hurt, and by carrying a deep devotion to kindness and compassion for every little soul that enters this world.

The Power of Presence

Some of the most powerful moments in my childhood came from quiet, consistent presence. Not the grand gestures, not the big rewards, but the feeling of being seen. A parent who looked me in the eye when I spoke. Who put the phone down. Who didn’t try to fix everything right away, but simply listened. Children remember presence more than perfection.

Words Are Seeds

The way we speak to children becomes the voice they carry in their heads. I remember praise that felt sincere—not for achievement, but for effort. I also remember the sting of words said in frustration, echoing far longer than intended. What if we planted seeds of encouragement, curiosity, and safety with our words? What if we slowed down, even in discipline, to speak with dignity?

Curiosity Over Control

One parenting style I’ve observed with admiration is when adults stay curious—about their child’s feelings, questions, or behaviors—rather than rushing to control them. When a kid acts out, instead of punishment, what if we asked, “What are you feeling?” or “What do you need right now?” That kind of approach doesn’t just raise obedient children—it raises emotionally intelligent ones.

Repair Is More Powerful Than Perfection

We all make mistakes. What matters is whether we repair them. I’ve seen parents apologize to their kids. I’ve seen them get down to eye level, say “I was wrong,” and model humility and growth. As a child, that felt revolutionary. It said: You matter. We can grow together.

Community as a Mirror

I’ve learned just as much by watching how other parents treat their kids in everyday moments—how a father gently adjusts his son’s helmet before going out to bat on the baseball field, how a mother beams while her daughter tells a story through her movement on the dance floor. These glimpses remind me that parenting isn’t about getting it all right—it’s about showing up, again and again, with love.

I may never have the full experience of being a parent, but I do have a heart that watches with reverence. And maybe, that’s worth something.

This reflection doesn’t come from a place of critique, but from love. From the hope that each child gets to feel safe, valued, and loved. From the belief that the way we parent shapes not just individuals, but the soul of our communities.

To every parent out there trying their best—you are seen. And to every child out there—may you always feel worthy, exactly as you are.

2025-07-04

Relearning to See: A Journey Back to Wholeness

From the moment we’re born, we begin to learn how to perceive the world—not through conscious choice, but through the silent, ever-present influence of those around us. Before we speak a word, we absorb the tones of voices. Before we walk, we learn the emotional terrain of a room. Our perception of life—of safety, love, belonging, success, and even self-worth—begins not with us, but through the lens handed to us by others.

Parents, teachers, society, culture—each plays a role. Not maliciously, but unknowingly. Most of the people who shaped our early view of the world were simply repeating patterns they, too, were given. They offered us the tools they had, even if those tools were chipped, rusty, or no longer served their purpose.

We learned to be cautious with our joy, to shrink when we took up too much space, to fear failure, to chase approval, to measure worth in productivity, and to equate love with condition. These weren’t lessons spoken aloud; they were absorbed in glances, in silence, in what was praised or ignored. And so, like little mirrors, we reflected back the world we thought was true.

But here’s the quiet revolution: we can relearn.

We can question the lenses. We can step back and ask, What if the world isn’t what I was taught to see? What if there’s more kindness, more mystery, more freedom, more permission than I believed? What if I no longer need to protect myself from everything—because I’m no longer a child with no choice?

Relearning doesn’t mean blaming those who taught us. It means forgiving them—for what they didn’t know, for what they carried, for what they didn’t have the power or consciousness to see. It means holding space for the truth that most of our caregivers were doing their best within the limitations of their own stories.

Grace, then, becomes the soil of transformation. We don’t need to rip out old roots with anger or shame. We can gently loosen them with understanding. We can begin again—not from scratch, but from awareness. We can teach ourselves to see with new eyes.

To look in the mirror and see beauty, not deficiency.
To sit in stillness and hear guidance, not just noise.
To feel an emotion and not fear it, but welcome it like an old friend.
To forgive ourselves for all the years we didn’t know better.
To forgive others for all the years they didn’t either.

Relearning how to perceive the world is an act of deep courage. But it is also an act of deep love. Love for the child we were. Love for the adult we are becoming. And love for all the humans who are still waking up, one gentle shift at a time.

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
You are simply returning—to a way of seeing that was always yours, buried beneath the noise.

Let this be your reminder: You are allowed to begin again.

2025-07-04

Becoming the Environment for Love to Grow

People don’t bloom because we tell them to.

They bloom because the environment feels safe enough, warm enough, and spacious enough for them to unfold who they already are.

In relationships—romantic, platonic, or familial—we often think our role is to fix, advise, or point out what someone else needs to change. We mistake vigilance for love, feedback for support, reminders for care.

But the truth is: most people already know.

They already carry the weight of their own habits, struggles, regrets, and inner dialogue. And when someone keeps pointing them out, especially when they’re actively trying to change, it doesn’t always help—it often reinforces shame. It can sound like:
“I don’t see who you’re becoming. I only see who you were.”

We don’t heal under a microscope. We heal in gardens.

What if love isn’t about managing each other, but about cultivating space where someone can grow into who they’re trying to become?

What if we could be the environment that says:

“I believe you are changing, even when it’s slow.”
“You don’t have to earn a fresh start every time—we can begin again, now.”
“I see your effort, not just your errors.”

To love someone is not to keep them on a leash of their past. It is to hold the door open for their future—even when it takes time for them to walk through it.

And sometimes, that future arrives in subtle shifts: in the moment they pause before reacting. In the apology that comes quicker. In the way they begin to soften where they once guarded.

If we want to be in meaningful, lasting relationships, we have to ask ourselves:

Am I an environment where someone feels safe to evolve? Or do I only love the version of them that doesn’t make me uncomfortable?

To grow is to stumble. To love is to remember.

And to stay is to water each other, not with critique, but with faith in the unfolding.