I used to think love meant fixing the broken parts of someone else. But in trying to heal them, I often welcomed their storms into my life. Over time, I learned that caring deeply doesn’t mean carrying everything.
Here’s how I shifted:
- Notice the rescuer impulse – Pause before stepping in. Ask: “Am I helping, or am I trying to save?”
- Draw the line between mine and theirs – Their wounds are theirs to heal. You can walk beside them, but not in their shoes.
- Set gentle boundaries – Limit the time, energy, and resources you give so you don’t run empty.
- Support, don’t over-function – Offer encouragement and tools, but let them take responsibility for their growth.
- Choose balanced connections – Fill your life with relationships that pour into you as much as you pour out.
Love is powerful, but it’s not a cure we can hand to someone else. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to hold space, stay steady, and trust them to do their own healing.